Gratitude - Day 2 (Someday...)

Someday...

• When the clocks fall back, I actually will get an extra hours sleep.
• When I stumble out of bed I will not trip on toys on the way to the kitchen.
• I will get to use the bathroom all by myself. When I take a shower it will not be to the soundtrack of a toddler wailing and pounding at the door.
• When I get ready for church on a Sunday morning it will only be my hair I have to wash, my teeth I have to brush, my clothes I have to iron, my shoes I have to find.
• My van will not smell like sour milk. Or be littered with cheerios and goldfish and Happy Meal toys. In fact, someday my van might not even be a van. It might be something infinitely cooler. Like a car.
• When I mop the kitchen floor I will not have to mop it again fifteen minutes later. And then again in an hour.
• My living room will not look like a romper room.
• There will be no more arguments left to referee or time-outs to enforce or groundings to police.
• I will walk through the grocery store again leisurely. Comparing prices on fruit and never once uttering the words "Stop hitting your brother" or "No, you CAN NOT HAVE THAT."
• Not a single room in my house will smell like a diaper pail.
• I will be able to eat an entire meal without getting up to retrieve a fork, clean a spill, or cut someone's food.
• I will not have a calendar hanging on my pantry door with multiple entries for every day of the week.
• I will only have to run the dishwasher once a day.
• I will only have to sort two sets of socks.
  
• I have plenty of time to write on this blog.

But right now, while children are giggling and my husband is wrestling and my dining room is littered with enough toys and clothes to create a formidable obstacle course...I am thankful. Very, very thankful that day is not today.

30 Days of Thanks-Day 1 (Halloween)

This Halloween season got off to a rough start. It was the costume thing. We thought we had it figured out ages ago. Ben was going to be a Pirate and Clara was going to be Tinkerbell. (We were going through a Peter Pan phase.) Ben chose a Pirate costume out of the Costume Express catalog and my sister-in-law graciously offered to lend us a Tinkerbell tutu. A month before Halloween and my ducks were in a row. Virtually unheard of in the Chaotic household.

Fast forward two weeks and things have taken a considerable turn for the worse in the costume saga. Costume Express called us when our costume was supposed to be arriving to let us know that they were sold out of the Pirate Costume we ordered. And all other pirate costumes in size 4/5. But our eye-patch and sword would be there soon. You know, in case he wanted to be a naked pirate.

And, to make matters worse, Clara screamed bloody murder every time we try to put the Tinkerbell costume on her and Party city, Target, and Wal-mart are all out of Pirate costumes in Ben's size.

Fast forward one more week and I have ordered a handmade pirate costume from Ebay for a reasonable price. I am feeling relieved and proud-of-myself until the costume arrives in the mail.

Ben hates it.
And, Clara has rejected the hodgepodge of other costumes we have from Halloweens past: Ladybug, Butterfly, Princess, Fireman. She screams at each and every one. At this point I am thinking of canceling the holiday entirely, because really, what's the point if the kids aren't having fun? EXCEPT, my Brother, sister-in-law and two adorable nieces are planning on coming in town to spend the night and trick-or-treat with us.

Fast forward to last night and somehow we managed to pull it off. With lots and lots of encouragement from teachers at school:

(thanks guys)

and family members Ben accepted (although never entirely loved) his pirate costume with the puffy shirt. And I was able to trick Clara into a semi-costume by throwing some cat ears on her head and pairing them with a leopard vest. She was adorable in spite of her best efforts.

And last night was so. much. fun.

The dread pirate Benjamin

Lady AllisonPumpkin designed by Allie.

And, as for what I am thankful for today, well that's easy. I am thankful for my brother and his family. They recently moved a couple hours away and I have missed them (especially my nieces) terribly. I was so happy they came last night to spend the holiday with us. It wouldn't have been the same without them.

Ben and his cousins.

30 Days of Thanks - Here we go again!

Last November I stumbled upon a NaBloPoMo thread, hosted by Boogiemum, focused on gratitude: 30 Days of Thanks. The description read:

“Why not take a few minutes everyday in the month of November and post a short blurb on something that you are thankful for? I did this last year for NaBloPoMo and found it very therapeutic and some great blogging material.

Let’s make Thanksgiving not just a one day celebration, but a whole month!”

I jumped on board immediately. What a wonderful idea! I can stop each day and focus on it's blessings. It's only five minutes after all.

Bwahahahaha.

This is what I wrote on November 30, 2007.

"What I am thankful for today: November is over! I have posted 36 posts in November. THIRTY-SIX. Talk about self-indulgent ridiculousness. And the idea that I would just be popping on to write a quick line of thanks. That was pure stupidity on my part. It's been a time sucking machine. So when next November comes, if I even think of participating in this daily posting thing, someone please shoot me. Seriously."

Well get our your guns, Internets, because I'm coming back for more. I have once again been drawn in by the lure of counting my blessings during what is, for me, a particularly stressful month. And what's more, I am challenging my friends to participate with me and post something they are thankful for each day in November.

And please don't use my tendency towards long-windedness as a deterrent. A one sentence post declaring your gratitude for pumpkin pie (because, who isn't grateful for pumpkin pie?) is perfectly acceptable.

Also, I started a day late last year and so I only did 29 days of thanks. So, I'm giving you my personal permission to get a late start. Which carries absolutely no weight whatsoever, but whatever. If you do decide to participate, be sure to stop by Boogiemum's place and add your name to the linky thing.

I'm off now, to write my first gratitude post. Gluten for punishment, that's me!

Simple Gifts*

I woke up this morning with an incapacitating headache. We skipped church and I spent the day horizontal and growling at my children while The Man worked outside, replacing the offending fence. It's his birthday tomorrow and I feel bad that he spent the day laboring in the sun and periodically instructing Allie to watch the Weekids so they would leave their mama alone. I was supposed to help him but just going outside left me looking for a way to clamp my head into the wood-working vise. He didn't complain about working alone, though. He never does.

Last night we went out, sans children, to celebrate his birthday. We laughed and flirted and drank adult beverages and ate too much. We were every bit a couple happy in love. I can honestly say I still enjoy going out with The Man as much as I ever have. Our dates, while now limited to a handful of times a year, make me feel pretty and funny and valued. And miraculously that hasn't been diminished by the familiarity of being married for a dozen years.

The steakhouse where we went to dinner was peppered with kids going to the local homecoming dance. One young couple sat at the table across from us and I watched them playing grown-up. Fidgety and nervous and trying too hard to look comfortable. The girl was lovely, if a bit overdone in her cocktail dress. Thin and glowing with the natural diaphanous beauty of the young. I wondered, momentarily, how we must appear to them. An overweight woman in wedges and wide legged jeans chatting comfortably with a bald (sorry, honey) man, ever casual, in jeans and a t-shirt. In a culture that values fame, money and beauty I cannot imagine they saw anything enviable in our obviously average suburbanness.

But I remember being that girl: excited and sparkly and wobbling in strapy heels. Sitting across from a boy I didn't really know. Uncomfortable with what to order. What to say. Who to be. I remember being told that I was living the best days of my life. And I am so thankful that wasn't true. Because I wouldn't trade places with her for all the taught tummies, glowing skin and nights of 12-hour-sleep in the world.

I know now that this thing I have is enviable. More enviable, I'd even dare say, than fame or money. A happy marriage. Worn and comfortable as faded flannel, but laced with moments of greatness. Moments sprung from being loved completely by someone who knows me completely and still finds me - inconceivably - worthy. I have lived long enough to realize what a rare and fragile gift that is. And how little I have done to deserve it.

Tomorrow the Weekids and I will make The Man a cake for his birthday. At dinner we'll all present him with handmade birthday cards and small gifts and lament that he had to work so hard on his big day. Later we'll sing and eat bowls of cake and ice cream during our family devotional. It won't be a big or even particularly memorable celebration. But I hope it will be enough. And he will feel appreciated and loved. Just as I do...because of him.

Diary of a Teeball Player

Hit

Wait for the ball...Watch the birds...

Catch the ball...
And sometimes miss it.

Have a snack,Get the game ball.

And steal your mama's heart.

This was going to be for Wordless Wednesday, but I couldn't resist the words.

Fridays Fave 5

Seeing how this blog has been all dark and wallowy lately, and that my life has pretty much been the same, I thought I could use an enforced pick-me-up. In fact, right before I sat down to write this I had just finished a loud ugly weep about how I should never have had four children because I can't be a good mama to four at once and I am a horrible wife because I asked my husband to skip going to the football game on Saturday to help me and my house is such a mess I keep tripping on things and the floor is making my feet black and I should just hide in my bedroom and eat Halloween candy until January.

I know. Pity-party much?

So I saw this at Beck's place the other day. And we all know I love all things Beck. Well, unless it involves pastry dough or cooking with yeast or celebrating 231 holidays a year. ('Cause goodness knows I can't even manage the 7 - Yes, I counted them! - I do celebrate.) I don't love those things but I love Beck for loving them and I adore her funny, heart tugging, sarcastic writing. So really, if you are one of the 3 people in the blogosphere that doesn't read her blog, you're missing out.

Anyhow, she linked to this Friday Fave 5 thing at a Blog I have never been to before. The rules state

"It can be anything that tickled your fancy over the week. Favorite quotes, posts, happenings, scriptures, recipes, pictures, etc., etc."

I love this idea. I have always found that the best medicine for my wallowy-ness is to stop and count my blessings. And this time I only have to count to five.

1. Because of the crazy busy week I had I was determined to make a big pan of something that we could eat as leftovers. I decided to try this new recipe that my friend Karen sent me, even though it was from Martha Stewart. I actually believe that Martha Stewart was put on this planet just to make people like me feel even worse about their domestic shortcomings. I regularly boo and hiss at her at magazine in the grocery store. But this recipe was very yummy and surprisingly simple. And it turned out so great I even took a picture. A first ever for me, a picture of food I prepared. Thanks Karen.
2. Lisa over at Lisa Writes, who said she was going to going on a blogging hiatus but didn't - thank goodness, wrote this post on what she has learned in her last 17 years of marriage. It really touched me.
3. Due to some job changes I was able to start back to Community Bible Study on Wednesday. I know that this will add even more busyness to my life but I am so excited to be returning to a wonderful program and a wonderful group of women who are passionate about digging into God's Word and finding the treasures inside.
4. While at CBS we were discussing Abraham and a time when he stepped outside of God's plan and put his family in danger. It is so comforting for me to see how God was able to guide him back on track and still use him in amazing ways. What can I say, Bible Stories about God doing His work through screw-ups like me; they give me hope.
5. Look what I got in the mail this week! I won this over at In the Trenches... and I couldn't be more excited. I have been coveting cards from Tinyprints.com ever since my Christmas Card fiasco of last year. They have gorgeous card designs and so many more choices than the places I usually shop. I can't wait to start playing with pictures for this years cards. Just have to take the pictures...but we won't talk about that. This is a post about good things.
   

As an aside, I was planning on using the news that Korto won Project Runway as one of my Fave 5 things for this week, but I can't because she didn't. She was robbed, I tell you, robbed. Ah well, I'm just glad it wasn't rude Kenley, (Even if I did think this dress of hers was fantastically adorable.)

It's raining, it's pouring...

I would like to make it clear that my life is really not as gloomy and problematic as it may appear on this blog. I actually have a very good life and am even, regularly, quite happy. It's just that melancholy, guilt and frustration are much better muses for writing than say, happiness. Or, gag, contentedness. Nothing stifles my words quite like being content.

That being said, this past week has been rough. Rough and expensive. Or maybe rough because it was expensive.

Our septic system, which had been finicky for quite some time, backed up and knocked us all flat on our back with the smell of sewage. I think the neighbors were pleased as well. We called someone to check it out. $1650 and some attractive new landscaping later, and the problem was solved. Hurrah. I will say that Ben was so beside himself with glee at an actual backhoe digging up our backyard that he jumped up and down on our deck shouting "I love construction workers!" repeatedly. Really, how often do septic repairman have real live screaming fans? You'd have thought we could have at least received the cute kid discount.

Our van, which had been finicky for quite some time, also decided to turn things up a notch by occasionally failing to break when you pressed the pedal. Oh, they kicked in eventually but not before you found yourself thanking God that you never did stick to that diet since you were now going to die at the age of 33.

So, after picking my heart up off the pavement one too many times, we brought the van into the shop. Two weeks, 3 different mechanics and $3000 later and they called us to tell us we can pick it up tomorrow. Oh and two weeks with one vehicle that won't even hold our entire family has added a little something special to our hectic schedule. Something like insanity.

And then finally, today, we received a letter from our Home Owner's Association letting us know that we are in violation of our covenants and they expect us to repair and fix our fence. Really, I'm not sure what the problem is. Maybe it's this hole in the fence where the dog is always escaping.

Nah. I think the classy and cleverly placed piece of wood concealed that.

Maybe it was because when they drove by the other day it looked like this:


Ah yes, it's true. We are those neighbors.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Warning: If you ever have a week like this and someone, say a customer service representative from Costume Express, calls you to tell you the pirate costume you ordered a week ago is actually sold out, you should probably just hang up on them immediately. If you don't you may find yourself yelling at the poor foreign girl and then bursting into tears and apologizing. You know, hypothetically.

Warning 2: If you ever have a week like this and you happen to have two bags of M&Ms in your pantry that you bought to send into your kids school...you will need to buy them again.