Tuesday, January 6, 2009

The end of an era...

I really love my blog. When I started it a year and a half ago, I wasn't sure what would come of it. I knew I wanted to create a record of my life as a mom, but I was hoping it would be more than that. And it has been. It has been a release, an outlet, that is completely mine. A place to reflect on my blessings and confess my inadequacies. I found my niche, albeit tiny, in this huge place we call the blogosphere. I made friends. Presumptuous as it may seem to call them that.

I wasn't quite as good at blogging as I thought I would be. The words didn't come as easily as I hoped, and often times my life seemed too dull and trite to inspire them. My writing has been sporadic and I never really found a consistent tone. Sometimes I was silly or sarcastic, sometimes serious and introspective. Sometimes just plain sad. But this place has reflected me honestly, if not completely. And I love it.

But I made some mistakes. I used my real name (occasionally even my real last name), I used my kids real names. I gave out too much personal information. And lately that has come back to bite me. People are reading my thoughts, who shouldn't be. They're learning intimate details of my kids lives, because I invited them in, with no thought for privacy or restrictions. It was dumb and careless of me. And honestly, it was selfish. I wanted an audience. And I couldn't invite the world in and keep out one.

So, due to some unexpected and disturbing revelations I have to make this blog private. I don't want to do it. It honestly brought me to tears. I love having an open door. I love it when someone stops in for the first time and says "You made me laugh" or "I get just what you are saying." But some things are just more important.

I will keep the blog public for one more week. If I know you in my real life I will automatically send you an invite to read it when it goes private. If you are one of my blogging friends who wants to attempt to navigate passwords (and the fact that your reader will no longer show my updates...sob!) send me an email and I will include you as well.

It was fun while it lasted.

32 comments:

slouching mom said...

Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. But OF COURSE I'd like to be invited, OK?

Beck said...

Oh JOY! OH NO!
I hope that I'm invited.

Kyla said...

Oh Joy. I am so sorry. I imagine I'd feel exactly the same if I found myself in this position. I'm very sad for you.

Send me the password, PLEASE!

Laura said...

Bummer. Can I be one of your bloggy friends?

Julie said...

Oh Joy!! I am so sorry! I have loved reading and feel like I know you better than I did in high school just from reading your blog. So of course I would like to be invited.

Elizabeth said...

I think I know how you're feeling, and I'm not sure how to remedy it for me. I think you are wise to go private, but I am glad that you are not going to stop blogging altogether. I would love to keep reading!

Kelly @ Wisdom Begun said...

That is so sad but I totally understand. I'd love to be one of you bloggy friends.

painted maypole said...

oh, I'm so sorry. but please invite me! (pntdmaypole AT yahoo.com) I do feel like we are friends here in the blogosphere, and I was relieved to see that you weren't giving up blogging entirely.

I kept my name out of my blog for that very reason, although I goofed and had my name registered with my blog on technorati, which made it googlable. I THINK I have fixed before it became a problem (but my aunt did find me that way... so who else did?)

anyhow... i think it's just horrible that someone has used your blog in a hurtful way, because I have truly appreciated your candor and heartfelt posts(and what's wrong with inconsistent? aren't we allowed to feel one way one day and different way the next?)

Christine said...

{{hugs}}

i would love to be privy to your private blog, but if you'd rather not i do understand, really.

love you

Lori said...

I will miss you my friend =(

Lori said...

PS I would love to be included =)

amy said...

Of COURSE I want to be invited! =)

InTheFastLane said...

I feel like I was just starting to get to know you. I am very sad for you and I can imagine this is very frustrating. I hope you count me as one of your friend, even though I just started reading.

karen said...

My head is spinning thinking of how awful this must be for you! I hate that you've been attacked - it must be so scary. Thinking of you here...

Lisa writes... said...

Oh, Joy. I am so sorry. I just sent you an email...

Laura said...

I am so sorry, Joy. People always seem to manage to ruin even the best of things, don't they? I hope I can be one of your friends but if not, I understand.
I will still think of you and ask God to watch over you and your sweet family.
Laura McCann
mcclan5@bellsouth.net

flutter said...

I hope you consider including me

Marit said...

Me too? :-)

Lori said...

I can't tell you how sorry I am to hear that what should have been a safe outlet has come back to hurt you or your family in anyway. So, so sorry.

I don't want you to feel you have to make your private blog any broader than you want to, but I would love to be able to continue to "talk" if you would like. Please know though that I will understand if you want to make a bigger break with the blogging world.

I do love hearing about you and your family though... If this is farewell, please know that I will miss you.

NeldaBelle said...

{{{Joy}}} this makes me so sad. You have such a wonderful gift and have so much profound insight into life it's a shame you have to restrict with whom you share it. I'm so sorry that some people have taken advantage of your openess and honesty. God bless you and your family!

Anonymous said...

I'm nobody really - not even a blogger - i just read them. When I stumbled upon yours, I thought - wow, I can relate to this! It makes me mad that one person, ONE, can do this to someone. I completely understand why you are doing this and am sorry this happened to you. I'll miss you and your blog.

A reader......vicki

Janice said...

darn this ol' internet. They're supposed to make a new one one day. Anyway - I read, don't often have time to comment, but like the connection and love you're writing. Plus I invited you to mine! :) Seriously - you do what you want. No hurt feelings.

Sister K said...

i hope that as a sister k of a sister who personally knows u through real life family, that i might be invited????? otherwise i'll have to stalk u on facebook to see that you're ok ;) sorry to hear this...it's kind of like the day the show closes on broadway-sister k of reasonenough....

Amanda said...

So sorry friend, I've loved sharing our lives with one another. Fierce hugs to you and your sweet and beautiful family!

Trenches of Mommyhood said...

Just sent you an e-mail. Invite, me, please?

Spice Girl said...

Me too???
love you!
G

Carrien said...

I don't comment or read here very often but I feel like you are a friend too. I've treasured every comment you've ever left me on my blog. Sorry I haven't been that reciprocal. I can never figure out what to say in response to your posts even when I read them. (lame I know)

If you do keep blogging please let me know?

Mommy P said...

Hey honey!! Sorry to hear you're having a hard time over there. Call me...

painted maypole said...

i just did your end of the year meme

Ashley Long said...

I am so sorry. I really enjoy reading your blog. Will you still post at w.m.e.? I am really going to miss your writing.

Helen said...

Joy, I hardly ever commented though I have been reading your blog for about a year now - I totally understand your decision.

I have chosen to blog without giving my full name and additionally not in my native language (German), because I did not want to be found by colleagues and customers via google.

I loved reading a part of your way and I totally adored your kids - especially Clara with her lovely way of pouting in the camera ;-)

Thanks for sharing your life for a certain time! And I am most amazed how loving and special a Mom you are.

Louise said...

Oh, how sad that the first post I read of yours is the last public one! I found you while out browsing. And I understand your dilemma!

I started a new blog 1 week ago because I needed one where people I knew wouldn't find me. There are some things I want to explore--not immediately, but sometime down the road--as I try to discipline myself to write more and there were a few people I felt uncomfortable bringing along on that journey. So now, I have a no real names, no real pictures place to do that. I feel liberated!