For the first time in 10 years, I no longer have a child in elementary school. The awful picture of my family above is from Allison's 5th grade graduation ceremony yesterday. She's moving on to middle school. The thing about that is, no one is happy about it. Not me...and definately not Allie. She's terrified, and I am sorry to say I think I am to blame.
My middle-school experience was something that makes me a little sick, even today. It was the time in my life where I realized that all the things my parents told me... about how beautiful and talented and likable I was...were actuallly, well, wrong. People, at least not 12 yr old people, didn't really care about what a wonderful person you are on the inside, they just care about your hair and your bluejeans, and other things I was pathetically clueless about. It has taken me many, many years to get over the self-esteem issues I developed in middle-school. I am only starting now to understand that being "fearfully and wonderfully made" doesn't mean the world will see you that way, and that's okay.
That being said, it's possible that when Allison expressed some concern about entering middle-school I may have cringed and turned a little green. It's possible, that when she asked me if it was going to be awful, I may have mentioned the word homeschool. Sigh. So yep, she's scared because of me. Maybe my scars haven't faded as much as I thought. Lets hope I can keep from passing any more on to her. :-)
3 comments:
So glad you have a blog! I love the family photo! Ben is so big and I love his haircut! I remember coming home one day in 6th grade and telling my mom that you can't be smart and popular...it is just impossible! Middle school is hard, but I was surprised and very happy to learn that the prettiest girl in my class was actually smart too! Allison will do great...especially that she has such a great family surrounding her!
Middle school is the worst, I agree. Every insecurity I have was born in middle school.
Putting 6th, 7th, and 8th graders together (and separate from everyone else) is one of the most ridiculous ideas ever. How it got to be common practice is beyond me.
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