199 and counting - with update

I am taking a blogging break for a week because I have company coming in town this weekend, and my house looks like it hasn't been cleaned in a month. Which could be because it hasn't been cleaned in a month. So the kids and I will be spending the rest of their spring break spring cleaning. I haven't told them yet. I'm looking forward to it. I live for the pouting and whining.

And when I come back it will be my 200th post. And I am going to celebrate it with my first every Joy-in-Chaos giveaway. Don't get too excited. I'm pretty broke and I am not sure what it will be yet. I am hoping for something that will make you think of me. Maybe one of the children.

And now, just in case you were thinking you couldn't possibly live without pictures of my children for an entire week, I will bestow upon you these photos of my beautiful daughter, Allie, and our comically ugly humane society mutt, Beamer. Who really is sweet, and very loved, even if she is cross eyed and looks like she was made out of spare parts.





Isn't she beautiful? (the girl not the dog).

See you in a week.

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Note: I would like to say a very special thank-you to the spammers who have finally found my blog. Who tease my heart into doing a little hiccup when I see 3 new comments in my inbox - because I am needy like that - just to find "Click here" or "I love your blog. Read mine" or even better something in another language with links that lead me to download spam protection. I would find this ironic if it wasn't so irritating since if worked you would all be out of business. And thank you even more, for forcing me to now put stupid, stupid, stupid, word verification on my comments to keep you from leading my few faithful commentors astray as well.

To those who do comment, I apologize that you now have to type in a weird series of numbers and letters that you will inevitably get wrong the first time thus causing your blood pressure to rise a for a minute. Or maybe that's just me. I have put it off as long as I can, but it is a sad state when your spam comments on a post outnumber your legitimate ones.

Why?

So why is it that when you send a desperate, and slightly pathetic, email out to your Sunday school class for someone to meet you for a playdate on spring break and a kind person, whom you hardly know, responds that she has boys the same age; AND when that kindly person suggests that you go to the same park you went yesterday, for play and a picnic and you think "Well that's great. My kids loved that park!"...

Why is it that the same kids who were perfect angels the day before with your friend from high school are suddenly transformed into whiney, clingy, disrespectful heathens in the presence of PEOPLE THEY HAVE NEVER MET! Why is it that your 3-year-old refuses to make friends with her 3-year-old and for some reason feels the need to yell, angrily "WE ALREADY PRAYED!" while her sweet child is singing the blessing? And why is it that your one year old will not be separated from your side for two seconds and your eleven year old decides to argue with everything that comes out of your mouth? WHY is the same playground and picnic area that was Shangri-la the day before now "too hot, too cold, too filled with bees and mean kids?"

I was just wondering...

The dirt's gone...

but the smiles seem to be stuck.

for Wordless Wednesday.

Blessed- UPDATED

It is Spring Break here in Chaos and my home is brimming with children. Teenage boys slumped in the basement in front of video games, still wearing clothing from the day before. Adolescent girls bubbling into the kitchen searching for snacks while complaining about the teenage boys. And the two preschoolers, alternating between irritation with each other and heartache at not being included by the older kids.

A week of this dynamic, replaying ad nauseum, stretched out before me. I started to twitch. I called a friend in desperation and together determined that a change of scenery was in order. I loaded the adolescents (Allie & her friend) and preschoolers (Ben & Clara) into the car. I packed bags of food and drink and blankets. Diapers, wet wipes, and jackets. And headed for the park. We met our friends and Ben gleefully ran, climbed and jumped for hours. Clara determinedly practiced walking on wood chips and was content just to go up and down the same little slide again and again. And the girls walked, arm and arm, through the paths and around the lake talking and whispering and laughing, and looking terribly grown up.

Then all the children, young and old, met up in the sand to build castles and volcanoes. Finally, after a quick scrub down we collapsed onto a worn comforter and ate sandy sandwiches and grapes and goldfish. Juice boxes and girl scout cookies. I visited with my girlfriend and rocked Clara until she was nearly asleep. Thinking, as I lay my cheek against her gritty head and watched Ben scale another rock, that for all the activities spring break has to offer I could not imagine my children and I finding a more satisfactory way to spend a morning. Friends, and nature, food and slides and swings and climby things. And dirt. Lots and lots of dirt. Who could ask for anything more?

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Updated:

Today was a day where I could not imagine wanting to be anywhere else than home with my children. I wish that I could say that I have this feeling every day, or even most days, but home-making is not a calling that has come easy to me. Never ending chores, sibling fights, mundanities, frustrations and tempers, (mine and their's) without outside validation, have driven me to the edge. Repeatedly. But I know that I am where I am supposed to be. And so I pray often for God to help me find the joy in my calling and recognize those irreplaceable moments that take place around me each day.

And so it is, when I have a day like today, that is full of one precious gem of a moment after another, that I cannot help but feel His presence very strongly. It is like I hear him whispering to me, "Do you see? Do you see what I have given you that you grumble and complain about and take for granted? Do you see what you are missing?"

And I know in my core what I have always know, but sometimes forget, that I am truly blessed and genuinely unworthy.

When will I ever learn?

that it is hopeless for me to try to blog while the weekids are awake?

Look!

Just look at what Ben did while I was writing my meme this morning...

Silly me, I thought he was watching TV.

Three walls of my living room, just COVERED with orange scribbling.

Thank goodness for Crayola Washables.

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Note: When The Man came into the room and was treated to a display of what Ben did he said "Why aren't you trying to clean it off?"

"Oh." I said, "Well I had to post it on the blog first."

Anyone else see the irony?

5 Things

My friend, sister-in-law and fellow blogger extraordinaire, Lynn, has tagged me for the 5 things Meme. I was saving it for a slow-blogging week and well, this qualifies.

5 Most Frequented Websites

1. My Email - I will not tell you now many times I check this a day. But let's just say, there has been talk of an intervention. Is there a 12 step program OEC disorder?
2. Google Reader
3. Dictionary.com (cause I'm a word-nerd)
4. Allrecipes.com
5. Blockbuster.com - Because Blockbuster Total Access Rocks. We love movies in this house. And did you know you can even get DVDs of past seasons of TV shows delivered to your home? So a person could spend a whole afternoon watching Season 2 of Grey's Anatomy and eating Easter candy. You know, theoretically.

5 Favorite Foods (only five???)

1. Coffee (I know, not technically a food)
2. Chocolate Cake (although definitely not ALL chocolate cake)
3. Mexican Food
4. Seafood (fish, scallops, crab legs...mmmm)
5. Cereal

5 Places I want to visit (never been before)

1. Africa
2. New York City
3. Hawaii
4. San Francisco
5. Venice

5 Favorite Stress Relievers

1. Prayer
   
2. A Bath & A Book
   
3. A Bottle Glass of wine
4. A Bookstore with a coffee shop
5. Calling my friend Melissa

5 Favorite Movies (Again, Only five, that won't even make a dent!)

1. Roman Holiday
2. The Princess Bride
3. The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (although not so much the second installment)
4. The Shawshank Redemption
5. When Harry Met Sally

5 Good Books I've read this year (I added this category because I am a rebel like that)

1. Pride and Prejudice
2. Good in Bed (Chick-lit, I know, but I still really liked it)
3. The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane
4. The Glass Castle
5. Odd Thomas

5 Things you can do to make my day

1. Let me sleep in!
   
2. Tell me I look pretty (Sorry Lynn, I stole this from you because it was such a true answer)
   
3. Just let me know I am appreciated
   
4. Help me clean the house
   
5. Don't fight with your siblings (obviously only applies to a certain segment of the population)

5 People I Tag
No tags this time. Although this was a very easy Meme if anyone wants to put it in their pocket for a rainy day.

Walking, reflecting and haircuts.

Despite my earlier pessimistic prediction, the evaluation process to find out of Clara qualifies for EI services has continued. It seems to be a windy road with many hoops and hurdles and even the destination is foggy. Today a "service coordinator" is coming out to fill out twenty-five minutes worth of paperwork. After which she will refer us to another evaluator who will come out to the house and run a bunch of tests out our girl. If she qualifies after that evaluation she will be referred to a physical therapist.

I refuse to get worked up about this process. She'll either qualify or she won't.

And besides, LOOK!



Clara has been taking steps independently for over six months now. One here. Eight there. But sometimes with weeks in between and no real progress. Her steps have been stiff and awkward and the neurologist even put on her prescription for therapy that she observed a "gait abnormality"

But in the last week, she has walked some every day. With increasing ease and excitement. And as you can see has made great strides in her gait. (Groan!) We are continuing down the road to EI because it has taken us so long just to get the referral, but I am very encouraged at the progress I am seeing.

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What you cannot see in this video is the absolute disaster my children made of the room around them while I was attempting to write an introspective post on my blog last night. This weekend I spent some time rummaging through the archives of my blog and recalling, wistfully, the obsession that blogging was for me last year; When I wrote compulsively for the sake of writing, and not simply to record the minutiae of life in the Chaotic household.

Failing to find a balance for my new obsession I have instead gradually diluted it into a watered down version of what I wanted it to be. While I still pop on each week to post updates and pictures and the occasional anecdote it's been a long time since I have gone to bed with words and phrases swimming through my head. I miss it. The challenge of trying to become a better writer, of self-analysis and story-telling and attempting to recreate moments instead of just record them.

And yet, here I am again, with a quick Clara-update, because it's all I can manage except at naptime and bedtime and those hours are already allocated 3 times over. And I find the less I write the harder it is to return to it. But I know I will return, eventually. Or maybe for now just occasionally. Until my life takes another turn and time alone is not such a coveted rarity.

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Oh and look what else I did this weekend:

Before:












My sweet friend Nikki took pity on my long scraggly locks and my 2 inch roots and gave me a free cut and color. Free - people! Seven inches and 3.5 hours later I am forever in her debt.

After:


Thanks Nikki!

I

heart

you.