Monday, June 16, 2008

I'm back, but it ain't pretty.

Bible School is behind us. It was simultaneously the best and most difficult week of teaching I have ever had. I am relieved and a bit sad it is over. I always leave those weeks standing a little straighter, feeling slightly better about myself. I am good with children. I do enjoy them. They even like me in return. And then, just as I feel my pride start to swell, I return to my own brood. And I swear I hear God chuckling.

I had been looking forward to returning to normal summer activities without the exhausting schedule that left us all irritable and worthless in the afternoons. This morning I planned to grocery shop, catch up on laundry and get some household chores done to free up the rest of the week for pools and parks and play dates. But my children woke up surly and whiny and completely, illogically, disgusted with each other.

And I think I hit my last nerve somewhere around breakfast.

And now I am melancholy and irritated at myself that I cannot drum up more enthusiasm for another week spent with my preschoolers. What kind of mother sits and fantasizes about getting a job and handing the whole lot of them off to someone else to deal with for the summer? Because that's the mother I am today.

Which is a mighty fine attitude for one who is supposed to be working on swapping complaints for gratitude. Ah well, it's almost nap time. I am infinitely grateful for that.

And now I must go, because Clara has taken to spitting at Ben and he finally got fed up with it and slugged her. Can't really say I blame him. But now they are both screaming.

What is it about Mondays?

14 comments:

Stacie said...

Joy, don't feel bad. By Monday, I am SO READY to send Myatt back to daycare. And Trystan too, to a lesser degree (he's still at the cute immobile stage..his only failing is the constant need to have his hands in my hair to comfort himself). And that's only after two days! I am in awe of moms who can stay home with their kids. I have no idea how you do it!

I hope they cheer up and start liking each other again soon!

karen said...

Tomorrow is the last day of school and we'll be facing two weeks before summer care kicks in here. I want to cry because I WANT to be joyous for my kids - SUMMER VACATION! - but I'm dreading the wreck the house will become and the, er, challenges I will face trying to work from home with them plowing around. I think I would be looking forward to it in earnest if I could enjoy it with them...but I will be the curmudgeon in the den, always asking for them to move the loud games to the other side of the yard, away from my window. I know that I would get even more frustrated than you do if I stayed at home...but sometimes, I wish I could.

slouching mom said...

We are having the same struggle today, you and I.

Spice Girl said...

Been feeling the same way--like why, oh why is it that I hate summer so much? And why am I feeling so constantly grumpy with Will when he's so dang cute and just wants to be around me? That's why--because he wants to be around me 24/7 with no break. And I realized I didn't have this problem with Samuel because he was in preschool every day for half the day from the time he was 2 1/2 for his special needs. Will has no special needs--that is, except for me.

I should enjoy this time, I really should, but I live for the time of the day when I can be ALONE, holed up in my office ALL BY MYSELF.

Ann said...

I know what you mean....Monday's are for the birds. My 2 guys are acting like little kids bickering about the Wii game. If I take it away then I have to find something else for my little guy to do! What's a mom to do??? I can't wait for my moms night out, tonight!!! 5 p.m. can't come soon enough for me!!!

Lynn Stallworth said...

Ah yes! My bad Monday actually started on Sunday night when Taylor HAD to bite her Blowpop. She got up, ran to the kitchen, then the trashcan, and then finally to the bathroom. It was then she said, "help, Mom." She broke half her tooth off biting that lollipop. Fortunately, it was only a baby tooth which was removed by the dentist this morning. I hope it was a good lesson learned not to crunch hard things with your teeth! The rest of the day has been fabulous. Maybe we'll get to those coke floats that we missed because of a broken tooth last night :o)

Lisa writes... said...

I hear you. I'm right there with you. Not literally, but I guess you knew that.

Karen said...

there is rarely an easy re-entry into summertime with children at home.

painted maypole said...

as someone who is currently working fulltime while someone else watches her child (I'm teaching at a camp, and my daughter gets free tuition to a similar camp through the same school - how cool is that?) I can tell you that what happens is you are exhausted after working all day, but then you still have to cook and clean AND spend quality time with your offspring, and so while it sounds like a bit of a vacation, it really is not. ;)

Kyla said...

I've had those days, too. Everyone has those days. But the good news, it is Tuesday now and hopefully the dark cloud has passed.

Epiphany Alone said...

My friend, I think we suffer the same affliction of carving out far more than can actually get accomplished on Mondays.

I have been talking excited talk about "getting" to spend all day with my done-with-kindergartener-first -grade-here-I-come-er. Before Lindsay's birthday I was lamenting she isn't 3 because 3 is SO much easier than 2, and how the heck am I going to make it through 10 weeks of 2 kids all the time with no breaks and my husband's more frequent than ever travel schedule. Some days I manage it with grace and others I am far from it. The anticipation and expectation definitely make things harder.

Gotta GROW with it said...

i say get back in your jammies and pile everyone in your bed w/ ya. tomorrow will come soon enough!

Lori said...

What is it about the start of summer that creates chaos and crankiness? I hear you. The transition is startlingly hard when it seems it should be so easy.

And, Clara... really. Spitting? That is not very ladylike for such a pretty little girl. :) But I'm guessing she knows that.

spaz said...

I don't stay at home anymore but I can understand the plight and I sympathize with you.

Someone once told me that children learn by example. Not that I'm saying you're grumpy and irritable or anything.................;)

P.S. Please don't spit on me next time you see me. :)