This morning I went to my past-due annual OBGYN visit. Nothing says Happy Halloween like freezing your tushie off for 30 minutes naked on a table while waiting for the doctor to get around to seeing you. Good times.
Since I had a tubal when Clara was born I have not had much need for this doctor in the last year. However lately I have developed some troubling woman problems (NOT going to expounding on that further) which I wanted to see someone about. Also I am having hot flashes.
So I am sitting there naked trying to remember all the things I wanted to mention to her. Which leads me to ask: Why can't they come in and talk to you about these things BEFORE you take your clothes off? Does anyone else find it impossible to have a rational thought while trying to strategically cover your breasts and fat rolls with a large sheet of tissue paper?
Anyway, I tell her about my problems, about my hot flashes and for good measure I throw in the fact that I am perpetually exhausted, although I am pretty sure this is from having four children and eating crap constantly. She peppers me with a few other questions?
Doctor: Are you irritable?
Me: Um...you mean when I am not sitting naked on a table?
Doctor: Any weight gain?
Me: Does 20 lbs this year count?
Doctor: Any problems sleeping?
Me: Nope. Sleep fine. Even in the middle of the day, when I am say...playing with my kids. Or driving.
She looks at me sideways and says that all my symptoms could be related to a thyroid problem and she wants to run some tests.
What? Wait. You mean grouchy, lazy and overweight may not be my natural personality? I am still reeling at what this could mean.
Not telling the family yet though. I am not sure I could stomach their excitement. Plus, I wouldn't want them to go buy party hats prematurely.