Thursday, August 21, 2008

A public apology

To the woman at the mall who carried her son kicking and screaming out of the play place after an all out war to get his shoes back on...

To the girlfriend who's daughter wailed for a banana and then threw it in her face shrieking "DON'T WANT DAT!" when she gave it to her...

To the mommy at the playground whose child walked up and smacked my son unprovoked...

To the lady at Chick-fil-A with the 2-year-old who pitched an all out fit because you wouldn't stand there and open and close the door for her to go in and out, in an out for an hour...

Or the mom whose child runs up to other children and screams in their face for the fun of it...

Or the one whose adorable little girl threw her milk on the floor because it wasn't "chocowate"...

Or the mother whose toddler spends all t-ball practice wailing that she "WANT TO GO HOME!"...

Or the parents of the many little ones who are determined to pitch a fit no matter how hard you try to pacify their ever changing demands...

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for every judgmental, eye-rolling thought I ever had about your parenting skills. For assuming you were lazy or unwilling to discipline your children. I have walked in your shoes now, and I too am at a loss as to how to parent my contrary tornado of a child.

And to God...

Who gave us charge of this beautiful strong-willed spirit, I'm sorry for thinking I could do it on my own. I'm sorry for having the nerve to think that my other gentle, mostly compliant children were a result of something we did right. Please forgive my pride, forgive my feelings of superiority and self-sufficiency.

And, God, just so you know, I've learned my lesson now. I've eaten a huge portion of humble pie. I know now that my patience is inadequate, my temper is short and my wisdom is clearly insufficient. I need Your help. Really. I get it,

I swear.
My adorable lesson in humility.

21 comments:

Kyla said...

She is adorable. I've learned my lesson, too. I find it is much more palatable when wrapped in an adorable, lovable exterior.

Chrissy said...

Been there, done that. Before I had children I used to laugh when I saw kids having tantrums out in public. Now I just want to give the mom a hug.

Kathryn said...

Haha! But she is simply too cute to be any trouble! ;)

Lynn Stallworth said...

Hmmm, our prayers sound almost identical lately :o)

painted maypole said...

great post.

may God grant you the extra patience, grace, etc that you need for your beautiful tornado

Lori said...

We all have to eat humble pie at some point, don't we? I swear it is inevitable.

That feisty, independent spirit of hers will take her wonderful places someday. And I'll bet she will even thank her mama for loving her through her storms with equal ferocity.

I can't tell you how often I have to remind myself again and again that I CANNOT do this alone- and then I pray and pray and pray some more!

karen said...

Wait - it took you FOUR KIDS before you got a public tantrum?

Kandy Gibson said...

Bless your heart! They are all gifts from God. He placed you with the right beautiful, adorable, loving package. He never gives us anything we can't handle. God Bless YOU with patience, peace and understanding. We are all with you on this so hang in there!

Lisa writes... said...

As the mom of a lesson in humility also masking itself as a contrary tornado of a child, I apologize as well...

Beck said...

I'm a little shocked that it took you that many kids to get to one who loves public tantrums. I mean, my Baby is the family expert, but the other two were no slouches, either. Huh.

Scarehaircare said...

I'm the girl who once swore she would NEVER put a leash on her child, considering it a form of child torture ans a sure way to restrict their creativity and freedom. Now, all four of my children have had a leash at one time or another. I would pay for an injectable GPS chip for each child ......if I could get away with it.

Tantrums? Yep, endured them.

Praying? On a daily basis. I used to ask for patience. Now I ask for strength and wisdom. Its safer that way.

Christy said...

Too rolled my eyes, I too swore never in a million years, I too was rudely awaked thanks to my little angel. What really helps me too, it to know I am not alone, not the only one.

Thanks :)

Henderson 5 said...

Hey Joy,

I'm sad to hear you won't be in my group, but I definetly understand why (we have 2 in preschool as well!). As for the blog, go to www.cutestblogontheblock.com and they have so many adorable free templates and easy instructions on how to change yours!

Baby Clothes by Ambajam said...

She looks so calm and gentle in that photo. I'm sure your apology is accepted. :)

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Rebekah said...

Amen. I owe the same apology. I cried reading this, because I can just relate. I was so filled with pride before we had children - eye rolling, judging, all of that. Now I am the mother of a precious two-year-old girl (our third child) who can melt down in public with the best (worst?) of them. I agree with the commenter who said now she just wants to give the mom a hug....me too. And I'm grateful for the sympathetic looks from moms who have been there amidst the judgmental eyerolling of others who haven't - or who have forgotten what it is like. Thanks for this post!

Susanne said...

Welcome to my world. lol. I was actually on The Fish the other week after they interviewed the author of a book about "what your explosive child is trying to tell you". I spoke about my "explosive child" and the topic I hit on was that adults need to be more compassionate and less judgemental towards each other. Every child that throws a tantrum is not a spoiled brat. Sometimes there is a lot more going on there (like in Zander's case). The good news is that she is still young enough for it to be normal and for her to grow out of it. I hope she does. Hang in there!

johnson5 said...

Joy, I just have to say that I love reading your blog! You make me laugh!
Susan Johnson

a Tonggu Momma said...

Beautifully written post. Thank you.

We have just one daughter. We call her the Tongginator -- it's a play on words for the Terminator. Enough said.

Adventures In Babywearing said...

Oh. Amen.

Steph

MoziEsmé said...

That is one adorable lesson in humility! And I've been learning the same lesson . . .

Heather of the EO said...

Oh. So true! I've thought about this so much too. And asked for this same forgiveness.

Came here from 5 Minutes for Parenting. So nice to meet you!

Love this post! So well said.
Thank you,
Heather