Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Who is Stuart Smalley?

Today, Slouching Mom tagged me for a new meme, The Stuart Smalley Meme. I confess to having no idea who Stuart Smalley is and I am not sure how I feel about memes. Could it really be only a few weeks ago that I was tagged for my first one and was excited just to be invited to the party? Since then the rebellious streak in me has reared it's head and I have started balking at what I have termed "chain blogging". Thus, I have decided to reserve Memes for really rainy days, otherwise known as I-can't-think-of-a-single-thing-to-blog-about days.

However, because Slouching Mom is my blog-idol (When I grow up, I want to write just like her...) and I would probably do a post on the conception of my children if she asked me to, I am going to attempt this. I also suspect that she knows that a post on "things I like about myself", will be particularly hard for me. I tend to walk through my life feeling a bit like the geek sitting at the cool kids table, and hoping no one finds me out. That may be why she tagged me. She may be trying to force me into some kind of self-contemplative therapy. Or she may just have known that I was a big enough sucker to do the darn thing. Either way, I am nauseous, actually nauseous about writing it. Why is it that women find it so difficult to complement themselves? To find things in themselves they take pride in? Here goes..wish me luck.

The Stuart Smalley Meme
Instructions: The theme of this meme is "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it...I like me." So, in that vein, I am going to name ten things about myself that I like. I'm going to focus mostly on the physical, because that's what tends to undermine my self-confidence the most. But you can name anything you want. Maybe you have earned a particularly difficult to achieve degree, or you volunteer tirelessly at your child's school, or you make a really great Peach Cobbler. Anything that makes you feel proud, or happy, or significant.

1. I have big brown eyes with very long (albeit blond) eyelashes. This is my favorite feature about myself. They were the one physical atttribute I wanted to pass on to my children. I didn't.

I'm only on number 2, and already I am struggling to think of something. This is really hard.

2. I have a big, pretty smile.

3. I am a loyal friend. If a friend needs me, I will be there, no matter what mountains I have to move to make it happen.

4. I interview very well. I am very seldom ever not offered a job I interview for.

5. I am a good teacher. I have taught many ages at my church, and I am good at it. The children like me, and I love teaching them. It shows, I think.

6. I am honest to a fault. I have integrity. I will not lie, even to cover up my mistakes. I will take responsibility for my actions.

7. I believe in reading to my children and I have done it religiously with all my children, all the way through elementary school. The last book I read to Brandon was when he was in sixth grade. It was one of the Harry Potters I think. The last book I read to Allison was this year. It was "Anne of Green Gables."

Okay, I am really scraping the bottom of the barrel here. I also feel embarrassed to be saying so many good things about myself. I feel like someone will jump in at any moment and shoot me down.

8. I am a good writer. This was the hardest thing for me to write yet. I used to be confident in my abilities to express myself through prose. My recent time spent blogging has deteriorated that confidence. It's hard not to compare myself to others, who are obviously far more gifted than I. But this is not about what I am the best at, it's about what I like about myself. And I think I can still say: I like that I can write well.

9. I can sing, read music and pick out tunes on the piano. I will never be an American Idol, but I have a pretty voice. I am cringing at that phrase, pretty voice, I think it's safe to say it is pretty though, not mind blowing, but pretty. I think so.

10. I am a dedicated, involved mother. I had a hard time coming up with a 'like' about my role as a mom, but as many mistakes as I make, no one can ever say I am not involved in my children's life. I turn myself inside out and backwards to be there for all four of them, to be at their schools, to watch their rehearsals, to stop in the moment and acknowledge their accomplishments. I am involved, maybe to a fault, in all aspects of their lives. And I like that I am.

Good Gracious! I am finally done. That was even more painful than I thought. Now I get to decide whether or not to pass this discomfort onto someone else.

I tag Christine and Bub and Pie because I think they could both use some self-inflicted positive reinforcement this week.


slouching mom said...

OK, I'll be waiting for that post about the conception of your children. ;)


You did great! And somehow I have this feeling that you still did not do yourself justice. I'll bet your voice is better than pretty.

And you are a better writer than you think you are, friend. You are a lovely writer.

bubandpie said...

I was reading along, smiling and nodding. I even had my comment all set: I like you!

And then ... the punch to the gut. I mean, the tag. I mean, thanks for the tag! I'll get right on it!

Christine said...

i am scared, joy. really scared. but i'll do it for you.

this list was wonderful. and i think you are an amazing writer. really. this whole post just makes me want to know you even better.

and sm is my blog idol too.

ps--thanks for your comment at my place. it meant more that you could know. . .

Jenn said...

It's hard, isn't it?

I found myself leaving little comments like yours after I wrote something that I liked about myself; then I thought, no, I'm just going to list those things.

And now I'm going to spend weeks, months probably, thinking I sounded too conceited.


But you did great. And your smile, yes, your smile is amazing.

Lawyer Mama said...

Conception of your children?! Baaahaaa!

I so envy people who have pretty voices. I croak like a frog.

And yes, you write well. Very well!

nutmeg said...

Wow! We have a lot in common. Aside from your smile, I could have claimed every other entry as my own. I would have had just as much trouble admitting to them too!

Lori said...

I loved reading this!! It is hard though, isn't it? And it seems crazy because I didn't read one thing on your list and think to myself, "well, she is sure full of herself!" Not for a second. I read each one thinking, "Good for you!" or "I'll bet you are!!"

And no one could doubt from reading your blog that you are indeed a very involved, dedicated mother. And I'm going to go ahead and say you are a good one too!

niobe said...

Just a quibble with one of the items one your list: your writing is far, far better than "good."

Beck said...

It's HARD saying good things about ourselves, isn't it?
I think almost everything you said is obvious to anyone who would read your blog. Your spirit shines through.

Heather :) said...

It is hard to say wonderful things about yourself. But, it is all you, Joy- I could have told you all that- especially the wonderful friend part! Love You!!!

Kyla said...

Isn't it so strange how hard it is to speak highly of yourself? I have difficulty with it as well. But I have NO doubt that those things are all perfectly true about you. We all see them (except the voice thing, of course).