Monday, August 13, 2007

Back to Blog, Back to School

I'm back. What a stressful, whirlwind week we have had preparing to go back to school. And then this weekend, The Man and I headed away overnight to celebrate our wedding anniversary. It was fabulous, and I have a post started about it, which I will share in the next couple days. But for today, we have more pressing business...

We're back to school!
Brandon went back to public highschool this morning and he couldn't have been happier about rejoining the masses. And, after five torturous months of homeschooling him, I couldn't be happier either. I am just hoping the homeschooling had it's intended effect of getting his priorities back in order, and his tenth grade year will go more smoothly than the ninth. I'm optimistic. Well some days anyway, I am optimistic.

And Allison started middle school this morning. And, if you want to know why all the photos from this morning are blurry, it's probably because I couldn't keep my hand steady because I have been in tears for the last two hours. I mean really, could there be a more ridiculous sap of a mother than I? I kept slipping off to my room to pull myself together in hopes that Allie would attribute my red eyes to lack of sleep. I have already projected enough of my own middle school anxieties onto the girl, for goodness sake! I really never thought I would be this bad. I only got misty eyed when she started kindergarten. And when Brandon started middle school my anxiety was just a normal twinge.

But Allie...it's different with her. She's always marched to her own beat, and her heart is so easily bruised. She doesn't have Brandon's thick skin, or his adaptability. And maybe that's a good thing, because Brandon's need to conform to other's expectations is what got him in trouble. But I just can't help but worry if her inability to see why people need to be the same, and why she should be anything but who she is, will cause her to be ridiculed. And I wonder how her heart, which has always seemed to feel things so much more sharply than the rest of us, will handle it if she does.

I know I am worrying too much. I know she will probably be just fine. Also, I'm just sad because elementary school is over, and I don't want her to grow up. Because we've always been so close, and I know a day will come when that will change, and while that is a normal and healthy phase for her, it just plain sucks over here on my side.


So here's one more picture, of Brandon and Allison heading off to school five years ago. She's starting first grade, he's starting fifth. Even here you can see the differences in their personalities. He's ready to take on the world and she's not sure she understands it.
I'll stop now before I start with the boo-hooing again. It's a bit embaressing to be such a sentimental fool.

11 comments:

TINA said...

THE KIDS LOOK GREAT. I HOPE THAT ALLIE HAS A GREAT FIRST DAY. SHE IS SO PRETTY AND SO SWEET THAT I CANT IMAGINE THAT SHE WOULD NOT MAKE MANY FRIENDS RIGHT AWAY. I CAN RELATE TO U ON THE WHOLE SCHOOL TERROR THING. ALL THE WAY THRU ELEMENTARY SCHOOL I WAS PICKED ON FOR NOT HAVING THE EXPENSIVE CLOTHES LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, BEING RAISED BY A SINGLE MOM AND ALL. I REMEMBER 6TH GRADE WAS HARD FOR ME CAUSE THAT WAS WHEN GIRLS WERE REALLY MEAN. I USUALLY SPENT RECESS BY MYSELF OR BEING PICKED ON. HIGH SCHOOL I JUST WENT TO SCHOOL, DID WHAT I HAD TO AND WENT HOME. I ALWAYS HAD ONE GIRLFRIEND THAT I WAS CLOSE TO AND THAT WAS THAT. SHE WILL BE FINE. JUST PRAY FOR HER CONTINUASLY. LOVE YALL

TINA said...

OH I SHOULD HAVE TOLD U ABOUT A BOOK THAT MY MOM GOT ME THAT HELPS ME IN MY PRAYERS FOR BRITTNEE. U MAY HAVE ALREADY HEARD ABOUT IT BUT IT ADDRESSES PRETTY MUCH EVERY ISSUE THAT OUR CHILDREN WILL GO THRU. ITS CALLED THE POWER OF A PRAYING PARENT BY STORMIE OMARTIAN. CHECK IT OUT.

Lori said...

I'm so happy to read something from you again!

I didn't know this until I was blessed with raising a daughter myself, but I think it is inevitable that we mothers watch over our daughter's lives with a different kind of poignancy. Not less, but different. I agonize over both of my son's well being, and I hurt with every one of their hurts, but I can't put myself in their shoes exactly. I don't know what it is like to grow up a boy. I DO know what it is like to grow up a girl, which is what makes me look ahead to all that my daughter faces with both excitement and trepidation (or flat out fear!)

I do hope Brandon has a great 10th grade year, both from his perspective, and yours. :) And, I pray for sweet Allie that middle school will be kind to her.

I pray for you too!!

Joy, of course said...

Lori, what a wonderful response. You are right, it is different with her, and I think you are correct about the reason as well. Although, I don't think I realized it until I read your comment. It's great to hear from you.

thirtysomething said...

Oh, you are back..awesome!
These pictures are so sweet...my how time does march on, eh?
Don't worry yourself too much, although, from one mom to another, it is hard not too, isn't it? These are our babies and the MAMA BEAR can emerge at any moment if someone even thinks about hurting them...
Keep your head up!

spaz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
rubenparks said...

Dear Joy,
Mom could not wait for me to see your blog. She loves reading these. I totally and completely understand exactly where you are. Marissa is living in Ga and starting college in the spring. I am in Florida with Rj. I cried the day I left Marissa, and cry randomly when I walk past her pictures. She and Caleb came to spend the weekend with Rj and I this past weekend. We had an amazing time!! Then we both cried like babies when it was over. We promised to see each other this next weekend. This is all so new to me. Our relationship is changing. It is an exciting time but definitely an emotional time as well. I love you and enjoyed catching up through your blogs. :)
I will sign on as myself and not rj next time. Take care. Dina

Don and Lynn said...

LOVE the plaid :o) Liked Brandon's loafers, too! I hope all went well!

painted maypole said...

welcome back. first day of school here, too. I'll be writing my own boo-hoo post later.

Kyla said...

I love the now and then photos. I hope the day went well for them both, and for YOU!

slouching mom said...

Awww. These are lovely photos -- and beautiful children.

(I am ever so jealous of you right now -- we have THREE WEEKS until school starts...)