We're back to school!
Brandon went back to public highschool this morning and he couldn't have been happier about rejoining the masses. And, after five torturous months of homeschooling him, I couldn't be happier either. I am just hoping the homeschooling had it's intended effect of getting his priorities back in order, and his tenth grade year will go more smoothly than the ninth. I'm optimistic. Well some days anyway, I am optimistic.
And Allison started middle school this morning. And, if you want to know why all the photos from this morning are blurry, it's probably because I couldn't keep my hand steady because I have been in tears for the last two hours. I mean really, could there be a more ridiculous sap of a mother than I? I kept slipping off to my room to pull myself together in hopes that Allie would attribute my red eyes to lack of sleep. I have already projected enough of my own middle school anxieties onto the girl, for goodness sake! I really never thought I would be this bad. I only got misty eyed when she started kindergarten. And when Brandon started middle school my anxiety was just a normal twinge.
But Allie...it's different with her. She's always marched to her own beat, and her heart is so easily bruised. She doesn't have Brandon's thick skin, or his adaptability. And maybe that's a good thing, because Brandon's need to conform to other's expectations is what got him in trouble. But I just can't help but worry if her inability to see why people need to be the same, and why she should be anything but who she is, will cause her to be ridiculed. And I wonder how her heart, which has always seemed to feel things so much more sharply than the rest of us, will handle it if she does.
I know I am worrying too much. I know she will probably be just fine. Also, I'm just sad because elementary school is over, and I don't want her to grow up. Because we've always been so close, and I know a day will come when that will change, and while that is a normal and healthy phase for her, it just plain sucks over here on my side.
So here's one more picture, of Brandon and Allison heading off to school five years ago. She's starting first grade, he's starting fifth. Even here you can see the differences in their personalities. He's ready to take on the world and she's not sure she understands it.
I'll stop now before I start with the boo-hooing again. It's a bit embaressing to be such a sentimental fool.