Dear Allison,

Eleven years ago today, I sat in a hospital bed, barely more than a child myself, and looked in your eyes for the first time. And as I held you and gazed, finally, at this tiny person that was you, this person I knew so well, but didn't know at all, I wept. I wept in wonder that I could have been a part of such miraculous perfection.

And I was terrified. Terrified that I couldn't love you enough, that I wouldn't be enough. That I would let you down. That the parent you deserved: the love, the harbor, the wisdom you would need, simply wasn't in me.

And as we have travelled through these last eleven years together, each of us finding our way, I still get twinges of this fear. Fear of my own ineptness, my lack of wisdom, my inability to shelter your heart. I know have made mistakes, more than I can count, but somehow, by only the grace of God, I must have done some things right.

Because you are amazing.

I look at you in a crowd of your peers and I see this beautiful creature, glowing, and self assured in ways I am not even today, and I am in awe that she could be mine. My own gorgeous daughter. Who smiles more than she frowns. Who has eyes full of dreams and a heart full of love. Who believes so strongly in who she can be and what she can achieve. Who fills our life with stories and songs. Oh, the beautiful songs! And I can't believe that I ever wondered if I could love you enough. Because my love for you so permeates me, my breath, my soul, that I know I could not exist without it.

And as I bowed this morning to pray. To pray for my day and for those that we love, I was overwhelmed with the need to simply say, Thank You. Thank you to the Lord for giving me eleven years of knowing you.

Happy Birthday to my Allie-girl.

I love this picture of you, and how you look grown up and yet somehow still like a little girl