Friday, November 7, 2008

Gratitude - Day 7 (Allie)

I'm crawling back to the computer exhausted again tonight. It's 11:3oPM and I just now finally made home for the first time today for longer than 15 minutes. I'm operating on 5 hours of sleep and just took 2 sleeping pills. I have about twenty minutes before I start drooling on the keyboard.

That being said, it was a great day with so many things to be grateful for. But as my brain is turning to mush as I write this, I will just focus on one.

Today I checked Allie out of school. She's been having a bit of a hard time lately so I decided to take her out for dessert and hot chocolate.

By the way, have you TRIED Starbucks new Salted Caramel Hot Chocolate? Oh. My. Goodness! But I digress.

Allie and I chatted over marble loaf about my friends and her friends, her school and my work and what we would do when she turned thirteen and was finally allowed to wear makeup. (The important stuff.) Then I took her to get her hair cut. She looked lovely and sweet with her blonde bob and it was so easy for me to see in her the little girl who used to sing a silly song about me being her best friend. We were always together then. She thought I hung the moon in the sky.

We have displaced each other in our rolls in recent years. She, with new friends and interests, and me with two new little blonde fans. It's been a difficult transition for both us, having to share. And my fall from grace in her eyes has been more than a little painful for me.

But in these simple, quiet (and way to rare) moments together, I see a glimpse of something even lovelier that may yet come between us. A relationship not based on me holding up the sky for her, but on each of us holding it up for each other. Based on equal footing, and shared memories, and - I am hopeful - friendship.

She's only twelve now. There's still a long - and probably bumpy - road ahead of us to get from here to there. But I'm looking forward to it. Because my girl, she's gonna make a wonderful friend.

10 comments:

Marit said...

That's lovely! I try to have a regular "date" with my sixteen year old, have done since she was about 10, and it works really well!!

Kandy gibson said...

My eyes are teary. What a sweet thing you have with your daughter. God Bless You both!

kramsell said...

I'm so glad to hear another mom include friendship as a part of the mother/daughter relationship. It is a point that I think of often I hear so many moms(including my own), state "I'm your parent, not your friend". It's true that there should be a fine balance of the two roles, but to view "parent" and "friend" as opposing roles is very sad. I hope that Ella and Chloe will always view me as a friend, as Allie views you.

Lori said...

What a wonderful thing to do for Allie. I look forward to doing that sort of thing with my daughter someday. Of course, we are still at the "always together" stage so a date is hardly necessary. :)

I think about that transition too... the one where I fall from grace in Pumpkin's eyes. I think that will hit me hard too.

Kelly @ Love Well said...

Isn't that hot chocolate AMAZING?

I loved this post. My kids are still young, but I desire that, someday, we will be friends. It's beautiful to see it developing, however awkwardly, in your family.

Kyla said...

I know BubTar is only six, but I see glimpses of the same sort of relationship when we got out, just the two of us. I'm always delighted at how smart and funny and kind he is, a perfect little date. LOL.

Lynn Stallworth said...

Sweet post, Joy. Allie is a special girl!

Chaotic Joy said...

Kendree-We are not friends right now. Not in the traditional sense. We can't be because we have just stepped onto a long road of power struggles that will last for the next six (or more) years. She's angry at me a lot lately, and I can't worry so much about her wishes and feelings to not do what is right by her. But we do enjoy each other's company (sometimes). We do have lots of the same interests. And in these moments, I can see what I hope we will be one day.

PJ said...

Moments that she will look back on with warmth and fondness are those "little" ones of hot chocolate and cake together. Blessings!

painted maypole said...

i've been thinking a lot lately about how MQ is still really lovey at 6, but in the next 6 years that is sure to change. and this... this is making me cry (and gives me hope, so thank you!)