Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Heavens to betsy, she's gardening again!

Sunday afternoon, in an effort to keep our neighbors from converging on our home with pitchforks and torches, The Man and I attempted some work on the area we loosely refer to as our front yard. Most of the yard actually consists of a large center island surrounding a handful of overgrown trees. We thought the trees were lovely when we bought the home. We now regularly curse their existence and the resulting need to deal with the weeds, leaves, pine cones, sticks and weeds. Did I mention there are weeds?

So for nearly two hours I yanked weeds small trees out of the ground and sprayed a gallon of weed killer over every single inch, all the while muttering charming epithets like "Take that you darn pricker bush" and "Die, suckers die." It was not my finest moment.

And then, yesterday afternoon I went to check out the results of my destructive rampage. And found, to my dismay, an island full of weeds with almost no discernible difference! The Man, bless his optimistic heart, was kind enough to say he thought they definitely looked discouraged. Discouraged. I spent two hours discouraging the weeds to grow.

I have also recently failed miserably in ridding my yard of fire ants. I just seem to be chasing the mounds of these mean, pesky, critters around my yard. In fact, I think all I have managed in my landscaping efforts is to produce a yard so laden with toxic chemicals there is no way I can let my children play in it.

This is why I leave the gardening to the professionals. Or my husband.

So bring it on internets. Send this redneck horticulturally challenged mama your best cheap, non-toxic, weed-killing, ant-skedaddling secrets.

And hurry. The HOA wagons are circling.

*************

This is my entry in Shannon's WFMW.
The
What DOESN'T Work for Me edition.

8 comments:

Lori said...

I leave the yard work to my Man, so I am no help at all! However, I'll ask him if he has any advice...

Good for you though!! Your title gave me a giggle!

CC said...

I do all the weeding in our home. No chemicals (so I don't have to worry about the kids), just hours, and hours of back breaking work!!!!!!

Nancy Sabina said...

My HOA is definitely circling, too - so I can't say much. Except that mulch is my friend. We moved into a house with several fabulous, large flower beds. But they quickly became fabulous, large weed beds. So we mulched the heck out of them and now the weeds are...a little more than discouraged I guess. It really does help. But you have to clear all the weeds out first. Sorry.

Don and Lynn said...

Round-up for the weeds. If that is what you used, then unless you used their most expensive, industrial strength kind, it can take up to a week to see those suckers start to turn brown. It will work, though. I love the extended kill kind. Works up to three months or something like that.

Oh man, we had some BIG fire ant mounds forming. I HATE those things. Nothing worse than standing in the yard and all of a sudden you're being attacked, usually in between your toes. Ohhh that hurts! Don uses amdro, puts it in a spreader and puts it all over the yard. It's kinda fun because you can watch those stupid things carrying the poison right to the queen. All the while you're thinking, die critter, DIE! One year Don tried to be frugal and get some other brand only to have to run out a couple weeks later to get the Amdro. The other kind didn't do the trick. Amdro works all season, too. Use it now and you won't see any fire ants this summer!

Lisa said...

Put on some old clothes and try just spraying a high concentration of bleach on those weeds. It's cheaper, no less toxic to you, and will do as good or better job. &:o) As for fire ants... Good luck! We never found a good way to get rid of them, the pesky varmints! ))Smiling and waving ((

Kyla said...

I have NO idea. I leave that sort of thing to Josh.

ames said...

You could try covering them up with plastic and letting them die, then you just scoop them up, so I hear.

Me, I accept weeds as part of the natural regional flora. Or I weed like once a month and just scowl at them a lot before then. The only person who would ever say anything about it is my mother and she lives in another state.

the dragonfly said...

I had to laugh out loud at the "discouraged" weeds. :)

I love a flower garden, but am not so good at making it grow...without the weeds, anyway. Hope others can help!